PARENTS GROUP is held every Wednesday, 7pm – 8:30 pm. Please contact the office for more details.
It has been said that addiction is a family disease, hence, here at Last Door we believe that recovery is best accomplished from a family perspective.
Ask most parents what they want for their children and they answer along the lines of “happiness” “health” “success”. Ask the parents’ of an addict the same question and they will say “I hope and pray that he doesn’t die” and sometimes….. “We don’t hope anymore, it’s too painful”.
After years, sometimes too many years to count of living with the indignity of addiction, facing pain, loss, fear and anger on a daily basis, it can be very difficult for parents to hope again; to dream of health, success and happiness for their sons.
Last Door staff recognizes the vital role parent’s play in their kids’ lives and in their recovery. Parents are often our first contact with the family; we are constantly amazed by the depth of love and pain mixed in one person.
Last Door Parent’s Group was developed to help parents live a life free from active addiction. Talk to staff about participating in this valuable resource.
Recovery at Last Door is a new way of life. Our social model program offers clients and their families an opportunity to experience recovery in a community. Recovery at Last Door is about regaining and living with a feeling of connectedness within a healthy community. It is about sharing and caring, about being part of something larger than oneself that gives a foundation for one’s future.
Drawing on the collective experience and energy of alumni, clients, their families and staff Last Door has forged a solid recovery community. The Last Door community is vibrant and alive – giving to and taking from each community member. Dignity and purpose, two fundamental building blocks of the self esteem crucial to recovery flow abundantly within this unique community.
We invite family members to participate in the weekly Parents Group – to share their experience and energy with each other and to become part of this unique recovery community.
Here are some Don’ts for Parents:
Don’t be an “enabler.”
Don’t “look the other way.”
Don’t intervene on your own.
When you cover up for substance abusers, lend them money, or help conceal poor attitudes, you are protecting them from the consequences of their behaviour. You are making it possible for them to continue abusing drugs or alcohol. You may think you’re being a loving parent, but you are doing them no favour.
Drug abuse and drug dealing are serious problems that should be handled by qualified professionals.
Betty: He sort of had a Jekyll and Hyde personality and we knew that something was going wrong and just couldn’t put our finger on it umm… not thinking it was drugs. We just thought it was stress and family life and things that was going on in his life… and we just sort of, we tried to address the issue but to be honest with you, he wouldn’t come clean. He wasn’t ready, for one thing, and another thing he was just that type of person he was just totally embarrassed. It was my daughter that kept saying to us, “Mom he’s using drugs.” Well I thought he was just smoking, or you know just doing something that was very… you know… minute, but when I realized the amount of stuff he was doing at the time, it blew me away. It.. It.. For the first while when he was in recovery, I could do nothing but cry because I thought, “Oh my gosh, how could I have let this happen?” The Last Door for me is the only place that I could recommend for recovery. For me it was umm… my son. He um, when he first entered I asked him and we had the fear of him leaving and I asked him once “What is it like for you to be here every day?” and he says “Mom, if I could find a good reason to leave, I would. But there’s nothing in God’s earth that would make me leave right now.” And that was his recovery and that was only 3 months into his recovery. But I always think that it didn’t happen overnight. Chris did not become an addict overnight so you can’t cure him overnight and you can’t cure within a week or two weeks or six weeks. It’s a long process because I think first of all they have to find themselves. Secondly, they have to do the work. Thirdly, they have to become the new person they want to be, and it’s almost like a cleansing. The parents group. I absolutely love it. For me, I never knew about addiction – only what we read about it. Parents were in the same room in the same situations with their sons. So we had no secrets. But you get in there and you really, really, it’s like you’re vibrant in there because you have, you can talk about your son, you can talk about yourself, and it’s very therapeutic. The parent group to me gives me guidelines and it helps me know that I’m focused and if I have a problem I know I can pick up the phone and ask one of the counselors “Well this situation came up and I’d like to know if I’m doing the right thing.” Sometimes you’re feeling a little bit down, and you think “Oh my gosh” and when I go into that room and I see a new parent sitting there and I can talk to them, I come up and I’m rejuvenated and I think “Oh my gosh, I was sitting there two years ago, and my heart was broken, I was crying all the time, and now I’m there to help them and tell them ‘Look at me today. I’m happy and my family is back together and my son is well. Life is so wonderful today.’” It really is. For my son and for us. I love the Last Door. If I won a million dollars tomorrow I’d give it to the Last Door… not all of it but some of it.
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